A tree in the forest
Last week my husband and I celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary. We took the day off and went for a hike in the mountains to a lake and glacier. The weather was gorgeous and we only got lost a few times (which is a classic hiking move for us, starting with our second date!). Over the past few years nature has fulfilled me in a way that it never had before. I find it so refreshing, grounding and a wonderful ability to pull up from my immediate world and see how little of a piece of the puzzle I truly am. That’s freeing to me because it is hard for me to get out of my head, to-do lists, child caring and working woman mindsets. In fact, they all mesh together and become one big blob of pressure. When I’m in nature I feel like I can breathe again.
I came across this tree that might as well have slapped me across the face. I felt this tree at my core and deeper to my inner spirit. This bare tree standing among the thickest evergreens I have ever seen. The wood twisted from a lifetime of freezing and thawing through harsh winters and cool summers. Barren spots where the bark no longer protects the inner tree. Stained wood. And, finally, wrinkles. Literal wrinkles running up and down this beautiful tree. Showcasing a weathered life, no doubt, and standing tall among the young, bright, full trees around it. I stopped in my tracks because this tree presented such humanness to me. Perhaps it was a spirit guide of some sort begging me to stop and be present with it. To take a hard look at what will one day, hopefully, be a mirror of myself standing among the new generations as weathered and wrinkled, but still not weary of the next season.
As we near the mid-mark of the year I’ve revisited my intentions for the year and feel very much still aligned with them. My family is first, I continue to move away from performance and perfection and inward toward intuition and self-trust while building new connections with other humans. Ironically, I have felt as if I’m on the cusp of a larger transformation this year. I’ve had big emotions around certain topics that involve fairness and standing up for myself and others. I’ve been steadfast in my reasoning, while doubling down on an objective lens and tapping into my trusted circle of people closest to me. I feel this sense of life moving so fast and not wanting to miss one moment while at the same time only seeing a blur most days. I do believe that if we’re inquisitive, introspective and curious we’re setting ourselves up for evolution and growth on a daily basis. This is my main driver this year and it’s eliminated some pressure of perfectionistic living while opening up an endless treasure of compassion for myself and others (which also still requires a daily reminder, and that’s OK!).
That tree though. Whooweee. I want to be that tree someday, far into the future, and I want to be surrounded by my husband, children and those closest to me that see me for who I truly am at my most inner self. Hopefully, more people end up seeing this inner self as I explore, evolve and share. And then, hopefully I’m lucky enough to be surrounded by more like-minded humans on their own journey.
We’re all just a sea of trees in the forest living among one another, protecting and loving each other…At least that’s something to strive for in this life!
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