Is it really as it seems?

Have you ever found yourself in a position where you thought you knew someone or your perception of a time in your life or situation was crystal clear…until suddenly it wasn’t? Recently this happened to me and it made me realize, once again, that situations and people are not always what they seem. This happens in different ways, for me. The way I received and internalized something was different from how the person intended it to be. I then can perpetuate this story or message and carry it through to other areas of my life, completely unaware of their intention – only wrapped up in my story. Same thing for how we perceive someone and how they feel about us. Oftentimes, it’s not even about us but we make it about us. 

This kind of thing comes up in our personal and professional lives. Maybe I’ve been carrying this story around that another person is so self centered when in reality that person is struggling with their own mental health, literally in survival mode. I feel resentment towards that person. Maybe I’ve been carrying around a story about myself, because of an interaction with someone, and I’ve internalized a belief that I’m not fill in the blank enough. Our perception of people and situations can change the course of our day, week, month, year and lifetime. 

So the question I have is, “Are we curious enough?”. If I’m harboring ill feelings about someone or something and take a moment to get still and ask the question “Why?”, it’s a very pivotal point for our own wellbeing and evolution. When we have people and situations that produce emotions within us it is oftentimes stemming from a belief that’s been created about that person or situation. Now, what I’m not talking about is if someone treated you poorly and you’re angry about it. Your emotions are valid, regardless of where they come from and it’s important to know where that is. Is it poor treatment for any reason? In that case, yes, be angry, but also process the emotions and set boundaries. What I’m talking about here is when we harbor resentment, grudges and anger without ever questioning, understanding or releasing it. These only hurt ourselves as an individual. So long as we hold these we tiptoe around situations or people, or worse, change the trajectory of our lives to avoid them. Instead, we can process them for ourselves and take our power back. Have agency over our energy and lives. You also might learn something beautiful about yourself (and others!) in the process. Wouldn’t that be beautiful?!

Interested in evolving? I can help! Book a free call today and see what coaching can do for you.