Sow the seeds
Right now, with March being Women’s History Month and this past Wednesday being International Women’s Day there is a lot of attention on women doing amazing things and remembering women that have helped make great strides toward women's rights and equality. Each year this attention grows larger, which is wonderful and validating , as a woman. At the same time, I feel a little irritated. I imagine that any minority would feel similar. Grateful for the recognition (finally) but also like “Damn, it took us long enough!”. I see a lot of conversations around equality and equity and these are important conversations, because there is so much more to do to bridge the gaps. I’m noticing more, this year, an increase in posts on social media sites about people being upset about how others are celebrating. “Don’t praise X because it does Y!”. I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed and nervous even writing this post and sharing my thoughts! It seems to me, that we could celebrate in an unlimited amount of ways. However you choose to celebrate and whatever you choose to call attention to, as progress toward equality, should matter. Being curious and brave enough to share thoughts should be celebrated! Hell, isn’t that one way change is made?
Many women have helped create change, in many different ways, to help women today have the opportunities they have today. Many stories have been told but many stories have gone untold. The courageous spreading of stories creates connection and empowerment — no matter how big or small. Hopefully you’re familiar with some of the BIG stories. The women credited with making changes and making history. What about all of the normal women changing the world ever so slightly? The women changing the world at a micro level though the people within their immediate reach? Impact and change happens here, too!
In my life, I’ve had many women impact me. Some of their stories have common threads to larger, more worldly, changes, but that’s for them to share. Some might not be classified as worldly, in the direct definition, and I’d like to challenge that thought. But first, a tribute to some of the women that have molded me in positive ways:
My Mother:
Through her mothering, taught me unconditional love.
Through her career and education, taught me the importance of independence; that career and education isn’t linear and that learning never stops.
Through her actions, taught me forgiveness.
My Sister:
Through her big-sistering, taught me what safety feels like.
Through her actions, taught me what standing up for yourself looks like.
My Sister-in-law & Professional Mentor:
Through her role modeling in my teens, taught me how to create space for myself and network in the business world.
Through her unwavering support, taught me acceptance of people for who and where they are in the moment.
My Next-door neighbor growing up:
Through her open arms and open house, taught me I was welcome anytime, just the way I was.
There are stories behind each of these teachings. Some lessons were replayed several times with unwavering strength from each of these women. I have a much different perspective, now, than I did growing up and in the moment of these experiences. Each one provided an opportunity to not only teach me something much bigger than me, but they were also teaching me love, kindness, strength (and much more). I carry these moments with me and they contribute to the person I am today AND the person I strive to be in a world alongside so many others.
None of these women are perfect or lead simple lives. That is precisely how the micro level teachings can have worldly effects on greater change. In the midst of challenges, unknowns and many hurdles, the way we show up for ourselves and others around us can be the subtle difference in positive teachings and traumatic experiences. If women (or anyone!) are unable to show up as their authentic selves, speak up about something important or difficult to them, or even share experiences, we risk a world in which women (and everyone) can be silenced.
We see more and more women speaking up about topics specific to women. In my mind, this is the first step to creating change. At the very core, this comes down to normalizing what women uniquely endured, are endring and may endure in the future. Allowing voices to be heard and stories to be told, loud and long enough to be heard. This is what then causes curiosity, open mindsets, changes in beliefs and ultimately action.
If we’re not curious and questioning things then we’re not in a mindset of change being a possibility. Or we’re too fearful of change. We’re not open to receiving that there could actually be another way – a better way! If we’re not sharing or connecting with one another we’re also not in a position change. I believe that sharing our experiences is not only validating, but it also creates a collection of data and information in which we can then start to think about change. Think about doing something a different way – a way in which people are raised up instead of brought down. Where everyone matters, equally.
I think the change starts within ourselves, grows toward story sharing and connection and blooms into evolution for everyone. Compassion, empathy and willingness to listen to one another can create shifts in energy and intention within us and around others. When I feel compassionate toward myself I can feel compassionate toward others. What we sow inside ourselves will grow around us, too. We can all plant more seeds.