A reminder: start small
Before I started doing the work on myself that I’ve been doing most recently, I knew some of what I wanted to change but mostly I just felt something was missing. Some great meaning to life or happiness I hadn’t achieved and I didn’t know where to start. The biggest thing I’ve learned from this work is how simple and small the steps can be and how big and beautiful the results can be. For the first time since I can remember, I’ve felt true meaning and happiness. I named my website A Journey to Find Joy for good reason!
When I first started my journey I tried to break down what was missing. My laundry list looked something like this. I wanted to:
Make time to just think
Make time to read
Have a hobby
Not feel like everyday was a race from the moment I got up to the moment I closed my eyes
I wanted feel valuable outside of work
I wanted to figure out what happiness meant for me
I wanted to feel purposeful in my life
I wanted to show up better for my children both in my actions and by being fully present
I wanted to love myself more
I wanted to love my body more
I wanted to be less anxious
I wanted my panic attacks to stop
I wanted be in love with my husband
I wanted more time for my friendships
I wanted to show up differently when things didn’t go as planned
The list goes on, but you get the point. “Hi, I’m here to change my entire life. Thanks.”. That’s an overwhelming place to start and a great way to not start anything. When we approach our lives or even part of our lives (careers or relationships) like this, oftentimes it’s too much for us and we don’t even start. Or, we jump in fully and by the end of the first week we’re done because we just tried to change too much at once and we’re not seeing any positive results. You know what, though? The best kept secret (OK maybe it’s not a secret, but a reminder) is that the smaller we start the more successful we’ll be. We have to start somewhere and we simply cannot start everywhere.
This is the great thing about coaching and how I help clients on their journeys. Big complicated thing = many small less complicated things. When we start to make small changes, whether in behavior or thought patterns we’re rewiring our brains. If we’ve done something one way most of our life and we change a part of that process we’re basically proving to our brains that there is, indeed, another way. I touched on this idea of starting small in my post trial and error. When we’re making changes, it’s best to start small and try a few ways first. Then stick with what works best. The problem is that many times by the time we need support we’ve reached our limit and everything feels too overwhelming. That’s where a coach can be helpful, in breaking things down into manageable pieces.
A lot of times, we’re barely present in our lives moment to moment. Go, go, go or rush here and there. We’re not fully conscious of how we’re operating and not paying attention to the thoughts we’re thinking or how we’re talking to ourselves. When we commit to paying attention and noticing – not even doing anything, just noticing – it can be very eye opening. The same thing can happen when we give ourselves a moment to be still, sit with ourselves and ask ourselves “What do I need?”. The answer will change day-to-day, moment-to-moment, as expected. Meditation and mindfulness can sometimes be over complicated, in my opinion. It’s complicated in the sense that it can be very hard to be still and be present in our day-to-day activities. At the core, though, it’s so simple it seems complicated. Don’t fool yourself or intimidate yourself.
The takeaway here is to start small and start with you. Pay attention to you. Break the big things down.
Interested in evolving? I can help! Book a free call today and see what coaching can do for you.